Admitting My Big Mistake

Have you ever felt like you made the wrong decision in life? Do you ever wonder how your life could be different if you could change any one decision you've made in your life? I'm going to share something that's been on my heart for a very long time.

In 2015 I had the opportunity to move to Texas. I prayed about it, but I didn't go. I stayed in Georgia where I was living at the time. I thought that was the right decision, but nothing worked out. I couldn't get a job, I wasn't able to attend a Christian college I was looking into, and I felt like I was accomplishing nothing in life. I kept thinking about my decision not to move to Texas, so in 2017 I decided to move to Texas. For some reason I backed out at the last minute. I don't remember what my reason for doing so was, but I almost instantly regretted not going. I was in a very lonely place in life, and I didn't know what to do. I prayed that God would show me something. I knew I was facing the consequences of not going to Texas, so in the summer of 2018 I finally went to Texas. I tried to get a job while I was there, but nothing worked out. After 4 months in Texas, I ended up moving back to my home state of Kentucky. At the time that seemed like the right decision, because I found a job and I was starting to get involved in the church I was attending at the time, but then something happened that I would have never expected.

In 2019 Kentucky elected a new governor named Andy Beshear. His campaign and policies are all in opposition to everything I believe. I'm Pro Life, he's not. I'm Pro Homeschool and Christian education, he's not. I'm Pro Church, he's not. I'm Conservative, he's not. And yet it seems like almost everyone in Kentucky loves him unconditionally. I even wrote an article about this where I explained many things about him that Kentucky won't tell you. If I had known these things were going to happen, I likely would have never moved back to Kentucky in the first place. I have asked God many times why I've had to deal with this, and I can't stop thinking about how I wouldn't have had to deal with this if I had been in Texas. So when Andy Beshear was re elected in 2023, I decided I was going to move to Texas. Just a few weeks before I was planning to move, circumstances that were out of my control prevented me from going. I was told that I might be able to move to Texas in the summer of 2024, but that didn't work out.

My chances of moving to Texas are basically gone now, but I can't stop thinking about my first opportunity I had to move to Texas back in 2015. Did I miss God's calling in 2015 and have I been facing the consequences for it ever since? Is there anything I could have done to get to where I should have been all along? Or have I already messed up too much that it's now too late for me to do anything about it? Sometimes you need to admit when you've messed up in life, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I know I should have moved to Texas in 2015, but it's too late for me to do anything about that. I can't change the past, but I can look to the future with hope that God's will for my life is still attainable. The door for me to go to Texas might be closed, but maybe there's another door that God will open that I don't know about yet. I don't know what that looks like or where that could be, but I'm trusting God as I go forward. I know that God's plan for my life is better than my own plan.

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